昨天和我的朋友巧手老達說到一個很有趣的話題，
老達：「我慢慢不會覺得結婚很好...」
V仔：「是啥讓您大撤大悟？」
老達：「一樣都是生活啊~應該說~要喜樂於目前所處的位置」恩，這番話說的真‧好‧挖~
雖然我的朋友最近結婚的不少，
但是呢...單身的我們也可以過的很好，甚至比結婚還好喔！
平日認真上班，下班做一些自己喜歡的事情，像是運動、學東西、看書、看影片、和朋友聊天吃東西，
假日到教會參加活動、演唱會&勵志主日，和死黨們聊天逛街聚會，
真的就很開心又很充實了啊，怎麼會有時間整天唉聲嘆氣心情不好呢。
今天中午和我阿姨電話聊天，
阿姨說我從小就怕孤單，但是認識神以後，變得好樂觀，
她發現一個人的我把自己安排的很好耶！
老王也是這樣說，老王說像她就需要人照顧，
她覺得我就是那種自己可以過很好的女生。
那是因為我有神啦，沒有神我啥咪都不行啊！
我還想繼續單身下去呢！因為日子實在太快樂啦！
想學的東西不少、想做的事情還很多，明年還加入了魔鬼訓練營之醫治釋放團隊，
希望自己能夠堅持到底呢！
講到單身真好，也附上一篇跟婚姻有關的文章好了，平衡一下。
來自想成為異國宣教士的Jason和Sophia的永保初戀感的婚姻一文，
順便練個英文吧，各位^^
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本篇分成兩個部份
。上半部是Sophia寫的, Jason翻譯的
。下半部是Jason寫的, Sophia校稿的
永保初戀感的婚姻 by Sophia
A marriage with sweetness never falls away
"你看我的新(衣服), 看看我的指甲!" 我受不了老是討論這種話題的女孩.
我對凡事流於表面或膚淺感到反感.
若去和她們談論最近國際發生了什麼大事, 她們會給你白眼.
然後繼續她們的髮色, 指甲, 美體沙龍的話題
…I can't stand of a conversation between girls like, "oh! Look at my new blah blah! Look at my nails....!" Hmm…I hate the things only within or upon the surface. It's like if you go and talk to them about the general international affairs happened recently, they might probably give you a blur face and get back to the topics of hair colors, nails, beauty salon things....
為什麼會這樣呢? 這就是這個世界給她們的價值觀.
我為她們感到遺憾,
因為她們不知如何得到真愛, 甚至不知道她們值得真愛.
許多女孩以為只要她們打扮的閃亮動人, 男性就會花時間在她們身上.
很遺憾的, 實情是一旦他們”搞上”後,
達啦~ 熱戀很快就結束啦.
接著就迎接”墳場”的到來吧!
What actually turned the things around is the value that the world gives them. I feel sorry for those who don't know about what takes for the true love, and not being aware of their rights that they deserve it. Many girls thought that as long as they dress up nicely in a great look, guys will spend time on them. Sadly, the truth is, after two parties have hooked up together, dala~ a love is soon to be finished. What comes after is a welcome of grave....
而女孩像是”哦~為什麼我總遇不到好男人?”
愚笨且可悲, 因為她們不知道愛與被愛的真理.
她們只是這個世界觀填鴨出來的女孩.
And girls are like “why I can't get a good man”? Silly but sorrow, because they don't know about [the] truth of love and being loved. They are what the world fed them to be.
事實是, 源自於上帝的愛!
唯有當人體會到從神而來的愛時, 並且身體力行,
才能在主愛裡, 與自己的伴侶自由地享受真愛.
The truth is that, the source of love goes back to God. Only when we learn about the ways of love from God and being able to bring it into practice, we may enjoy the freedom of love with Him, and with their beloved ones.
在我成為基督徒前, 我對婚姻感到恐懼.
因為看來好像沒有人能抗拒得了婚外的誘惑.
至少, 我們常聽到悲劇, 而不是幸福的故事.
I was really afraid of marriage before I was a Christian. It seems like nobody could win over the temptations in the outside world of their marriage. At least, what we heard about are sad stories, not happy ones.
我對婚姻的想法一直沒有太大的變化, 直到我遇到我學校裡的老師們,
他們是基督徒. 他們己經很老了,
但他們還是享受著甜蜜的婚姻生活, 這真是令我吃驚!
諸如, 一起在月光下牽手漫步, 像年輕戀人一般的共享冰淇淋.
My thoughts about marriage did not experience any big change until I met the teachers in my school. They are Christians and they are old. What blew my mind away was that they still enjoy sweetness of staying together. Walking under the moonlight with two hands holding, sharing ice-cream to each other like a young sweet couple.
真是太讓我吃驚了! 所以我開始去找尋答案,
想知道婚姻真的有可能在經過二年, 甚至十或二十年後仍保持甜蜜嗎?
真能夠像是, 每天早上你醒來看到你的妻子/丈夫, 兩人仍能有那種初識時的愛戀感嗎?
That truly amazed me. So I began to search for an answer of this question: is there any possibility a couple's marriage can last longer than 2 years or even 10 or 20 years with sweetness remaining still? For an instance, every morning when you wake up, seeing your wife or husband, will you feel the same way, the same love, the same sweetness as you both just met?
我查遍了心理學和生物學都找不到令人滿意的答案.
心理學家和科學家說恆久的愛是不可能的.
因為人體的構造就是無法如此, 人類有些必然的障礙.
而統計學告訴我們, 要在心態上常保愛戀感是不可能的.
因為你太習慣於同一個人, 同一個身體, 同樣的體味, 和同樣的膚觸.
墜入情海的感覺隨著兩人相處越久就自然淡化了.
這的確非常合理, 因為人體裡荷爾蒙的效果在衰減.
這也是為什麼人們會不假思索而輕易的說出, “我覺得我己經不再愛你了!”這種話.
I couldn't find any answer that satisfied me from psychological or biological references. Psychologists and scientists suggested that an everlasting love is impossible because our human body wasn't made to be so. It is an irrefutable obstacle of human beings. Moreover, statistic tells that it is not possible to be mentally renewed with a feeling of "love" while you are so used to the same person, the same body, the same smell and touch for so long. The feelings of "falling in love" will be naturally disappeared when you two spend a longer time with each other. This is reasonable because the hormones for “love” of our human bodies are getting diminished. That is why people can easily say the words, "I don't feel like I love you anymore", without looking into a reason of why.
但我在基督教裡找到了真愛的答案.
在主愛裡, 恆久的戀愛是"可行的"!
相當顯而易見的一件事: 心理學和生物學都沒有論及到靈和魂的層面.
聖經上卻常常論及. 靈魂和身體是不同的部份, 有趣的是二者都應被"合一"的考量到.
However, I found my answer in the love based on Christianity. The answer to my question is YES. An apparent significance is that, psychology and biology do not talk about spirituality and soul. Soul and body are two separated things which always being mentioned in the Bible. Interestingly, they are also treated as one.
以一個基督徒的觀點是不會說這樣的話,
"想都不用想, 我太了解他了! 他就是個死德性."
這是一種非常狹礙的想法.
反而基督徒應對待每個人都好像他每天都能被更新一般!
我們每天都和彼此學到新的事物.
這同時也代表, 在婚姻裡你和你的伴侶會有著無止盡的學習過程.
那麼, 如果每天都有新鮮事能從你所愛的伴侶那習得,
你又怎麼會對你愛的他/她感到厭煩呢?
In a perspective of a Christian, he or she can never say the words like, "I know him! He is a person like that! No need to think more..." That will be very narrow-minded. Instead, Christians treat every individual as a new person for each new day. People are learning about each other on a daily basis. That means, if you are in a marriage, it will be a never ending learning process of you and your spouse. Then, how could you be bored of learning from someone you love so much and you can find something new about him/her everyday?
當上帝在你們之間時, 上帝的同在就是真愛的泉源!!
While God is between you two, the presence of God is the source of love!!
上帝給婚姻裡最棒的祝福就是, 上帝能讓你們的婚姻如同初戀般的甜蜜,
只要你們願意讓祂進入你們的婚姻.
而就如耶穌教導我們的, 我們知道應當如何對待我們的另一半
.(要真切的實作, 不要只是空談.)
一天又一天, 終至永恆.
勝過人們所受限的”時間”和”愛情的新鮮期限.”
The greatest blessing in your marriage from God is that, He can turn your marriage as sweet as you two just met. It becomes like this because you both allow His interference in your marriage. Also you know how to treat your husband or wife in the ways Jesus told us (practice it sincerely, not being a hypocrite.) Day after day, eventually it brings to the eternality. This is what overcomes the limitation we called "time" or "duration of love".
當我知道這個真理時我真是樂翻了!
而且我發現我真是完全釋懷, 而再也不擔心進入到婚姻了!
I was so happy when I found about this truth. And I know that I was totally released from the fears of getting into a marriage.
Jason: 歡迎上帝進入我們的婚姻, 這也是唯一的方法,
我們能不斷的得到真愛的泉源, 一個永保愛戀的婚姻!
Jason: Welcome God into your marriage. You will, and this is the only way to, enjoy the source of true love continually – a marriage with sweetness never falls away.
========= 感謝Jason翻譯的分隔線 =========
為何女孩總是問, “親愛的, 你愛我嗎?”by Jason
Why girls always ask, “Honey, do you love me?”
根據聖經, 耶穌是教會的頭, 而耶穌因為愛的緣故為身體(教會)犧牲了自己.
而聖經說, 做丈夫的是一個家庭, 包括他的妻子, 的頭(領導).
因此做丈夫的也要愛妻子愛到願意為她犧牲, 就像耶穌如何愛教會一般.
According to the Bible, Jesus is the head of His church. He sacrificed Himself for the body (church) because of love. The Bible says, a husband is the head of the family, including his wife; therefore, a husband should be willing to die for his wife because of love, just like how Jesus loves His church.
然而男性實在太笨了
大概是腦受損: 上帝造夏娃時使亞當"沈睡",
我猜上帝讓亞當沈睡的方法是推他的頭去撞石頭.
哈~開玩笑的.
所以, 我推估上帝為女人設計了一個內建功能,
她們會自動提醒她們的丈夫關於愛的責任.
However, guys are way too stupid. (Probably because of the brain accident: God made Adam "sleept" when He was in the creation of Eve. I guess that He pushed Adam's head so hard to a stone. Wahah… just kidding) So, I assumed that God has settled an embedded auto-functioning program inside of women, which, allows them to remind their husband anything about love spontaneously.
我覺得這真是合理極了!
如果作丈夫的能夠表現出他對妻子應有愛的責任(不是真的去送死啦!),
那麼他的妻子也就不會常常這麼問了.
因為她知道她的丈夫己經達到了上帝的旨意.
否則她們就會繼續想要問, “親愛的, 你愛我嗎?”
I think it makes perfect sense. If a husband can show (not really die) his responsibility to his spouse, then his wife won't ask about it that often. Because she knows that her husband has reached to God's order. Or she will keep on asking, “Honey, do you love me?”
男士們! 當下次你的另一半問你是否愛她時,
別再只是口裡說說, 也積極的行動吧!
因為這可是神的命令喲!
Gentleman, next time when your spouse asks you that whether if you love her? Do not respond them in words only, but also get yourself actively involved. For this is the order of God.
25你們作丈夫的，要愛你們的妻子，正如基督愛教會，為教會捨己。...
28丈夫也當照樣愛妻子，如同愛自己的身子；愛妻子便是愛自己了。
29從來沒有人恨惡自己的身子，總是保養顧惜，正像基督待教會一樣。...
33然而，你們各人都當愛妻子，如同愛自己一樣。妻子也當敬重他的丈夫。
(聖經, 以弗所書, 第5章)
25 A husband should love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it…28 In the same way, a husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself. A husband who loves his wife shows that he loves himself. 29 None of us hate our own bodies We provide for them and take good care of them, just as Christ does for the church… 33 So each husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself, and each wife should respect her husband.
(Bible, Ephesians, chapter 5)
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